It started with a letter...

It always starts with a letter. This time it was supposed to be one of closure. I'm certainly hoping it's what I find.

Anyone who's read this blog knows that there was someone I was talking to, someone I was excited about. I had been looking forward to what we had ahead of us. I constantly made excuses for him, for his not being around. For him only texting me, never calling, rarely seeing him. I made a hundred, maybe more, all the time justifying myself that my gut told me he was different. Others saw through him so quickly and I didn't. I trusted and I believed.

I was wrong.

There is no doubt in my mind that I was wrong, that I was fooled by pretty words. It has been a really long time since I felt that spark, that little something that made me feel special. I'm not saying that after two weeks I'm okay with what happened. I'm not. I'm still hurting, still wondering. Sometimes I think that I did something and that if I could go back and change it, I would. And then there are brief moments when I realize that this is for the best. Those moments come before the ones where I swear that I'll never get married.

The future is still unfolding, every moment of every day. It's not easy and it is never simple. Despite the times that I wish it was, and the times that I wish men came with an instruction manual, I know they're not meant to. It would take the fun out of finding the right one. For now, I have to take some time and get over this. It wasn't a relationship but it was something to me. And apparently nothing to him. We were only temporary. A dream that wasn't meant to be. I just have to deal with that.

Wish me luck.