Moving up a level...

Life is a video game. It really is. We go out there, armed with some basics and we pick up bits and pieces along the way. Sometimes we get armor to protect ourselves. Sometimes we get healing potions or extra lives, to try something again and hopefully not get hurt. And, sometimes we get to play with other people, move together as a group. But, going with this metaphor, where does moving with friends turn into something more? How does one go from a level three friend to a level four girlfriend? When do we move up a level?

You know, for all my joking around, I am a romantic. I enjoy the notion of being taken out to dinner or something and having a guy want to sweep me off my feet. It's rather sweet and I wouldn't object to it in the slightest. But I have to remember a few realities which may be a little harsher than I'd like.

Basically, my reality is this: I'm in my mid twenties. So that means the guys I'm seeing or meeting are ones who are swimming in college loan debt just like me. They're still living at home because, let's face it, living on Long Island isn't easy. Some are still in school, working on other degrees. Some are still working jobs they hate because they need money. It's not like I'm rolling in cash. So a romantic dinner, might not be made by other people.

That's not to say that there can't be a really romantic dinner cooked by the guy. Or that take out can't be made to be more romantic than white cartons and chopsticks. Let's be realistic. Romantic on a budget is still sweet. At least in my book.

I'm not saying that if a guy doesn't take me out to some place that involves me wearing something nicer than jeans, I'm never going to speak to him again. Please. But, when does hanging out become dating? I can't even actually say I've been on two dates with someone. I've hung out with someone I really like more than once. Which is nice. And I honestly can't wait to see him again, but I don't think they have been dates.

And it's not because I paid both times. Let's face it. As previously stated, the economy sucks and being a few years out of college doesn't make it any easier. (Sure, the economy is getting better but still... it's tough.) I'm okay with paying. It makes sure that I'm good and cautious with my money. And I'm not a splurger any way. At least, not when I know I have to be good.

Being that I met him online, I'm wondering when this becomes more than just hanging out. We've talked about it, how we consider each other to be friends and I know we both like each other. In the whole 'Check Yes or No' kind of way. So where is the next step? Is it when he makes a move? Do I have to do something? Am I stuck in some sort of strange dating limbo, without ammo of my own and nothing to protect me from the on-coming horde of possible pain and heartache?

I still don't have any answers. I could go in and waste all my health coming up with a million excuses why this won't work out (pass precedent, my luck... friends abandoning me for no apparent reason). I could sit here and think up strategies and find a way to make sure this works out in my favor. I could spend hours watching romantic comedies and trying to see where the real world fits in.

But truthfully, I shouldn't do any of those things. Sometimes you don't want the cheat codes. Sometimes you just want to arm yourself with knowledge. You know where the land mines are, you know how to avoid them. So why not grab your best weapon and head out there, rush into and see where the game of life takes you this time. It might not work for Call of Duty or World of Warcraft, but I'm hoping it works for real life.

Paging Cupid

I am still alive, I swear.

Today's topic, online dating.

The whole thing can be more than a little frustrating. Everything we're taught as children is that there is someone out there for us. One day our prince will come. Well, Prince Charming carries a BlackBerry and there is an app for that.

And who can blame us for going out there and trying to find someone? We're a technology dependent culture. Match.come and eHarmony are regular commercial spots while we enjoy our primetime television. If you haven't been on a dating site yourself (or several), you know at least two people who have ventured into the world of online dating. And you can add me to that list as well.

I'm not a going to the bars to find someone type of girl. I've tried to find a guy in a bookstore.... and let me tell you that every romantic comedy that claims it's possible was lying. At least for me. So I joined a site shortly after moving into my current apartment. OKCupid. I went on several first dates and never a second. It's not that I'm terribly picky but there are certain things I don't tolerate on first dates... lying, groping, clinging to me worse than a koala... Simple, right? I've been on the online dating scene for over two years and I've gotten no where. I even tried a few other sites, ones for Catholics, for writers, even one for Mac enthusiasts, and found nothing more than first dates or creepers who wanted to sleep with me and nothing else.

So we have had to adjust our dating rules. (Not our standards, but the rules.... Class is always a wonderful accessory and never forget it.) That's where those fateful little words come into play and where things become confusing. If he's not into you, he's not going to string you along with text messages and emails every single day. But where does physical contact come into play? Heck, some days, I wouldn't be against a phone call, though, truthfully, I'm not very charming on the phone. But that isn't the point. The point is, we can become too involved too quickly without a clear path ahead.

And I'm not talking about the path that leads to the altar. I wouldn't mind a path that lead to a second date, to talking to someone who didn't make me want to scream in frustration. After two and half years of online dating, I was done. Or so I thought. A friend of mine went on a date with someone she'd met online. And I thought I would give OKCupid one more chance. Before my profile was even completed, I had messages in my inbox. Men wanting to get to know and find out more about what made me tick. Something that has bothered me was the ones who always said things that made them think they knew me. If we haven't had a conversation, guess what? You have no idea who I am and what I think.

Well, I might have found a different one. At least, I hope so. Constant emails and text messages in my inbox and I'm smiling like a twelve year old with a crush. And that's what it is. We have met in person, which was nice, but here I am, waiting for date number two. And I have so many questions and I feel more than a little confused by this charming young man and hoping that I'm not heading for a delusional sunset.

If the rules have changed when it comes to dating due to the internet's matchmaking websites, when do those rules get replaced by the more traditional ones. Is he supposed to pay for the first date or do we go dutch? Am I supposed to wait for him to propose a second date? When does this relationship actually start and is it a relationship?

Having someone that you like and who seems to like you back is just as frustrating as being alone. It's amazing people get married at all some days. Anyone have Cupid's number? I think I need to text him...