The 'He's Just Not That Into You Generation'

On my way to my friend's house to spend the night, I had an epiphany. Thanks to a line on Sex and the City, we have become the 'He's Just Not That Into You' generation. There is a book about it, detailing the fact that if a guy isn't interested, he's hasn't lost your number or been in a serious accident. He's just not into you. Hell, they made a major motion picture about it. So there are plenty of women all over the world who have read the book or seen the movie and discovered that those guys we make the excuses for just aren't into us.

Here's the problem with that wonderful realization that we're experiencing: When is the time that we decide he's not into us? Is it when we haven't heard from him in a day? A week? A month?Is it when he refuses to have us meet his friends? When he only wants to hang out with you when no one is around? There are so many excuses that run through our minds and that's where 'He's just not that into you' comes into play.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the mentality. If I had learned that, I might have avoided the heartache that came with some of my interactions with guys through college and even after. But if I'm talking to someone who seems sweet and we're just getting to know each other, am I supposed to believe he's not into me when it takes him a day to get back to me? For a while yesterday, I did. Turns out he had family over and couldn't text. Life happens. So when is he busy and when is he not into you?

It's hard. In the world of online dating, women (and men) find themselves putting so much out there, so much on the line (and online) only to be rejected. Our hearts are online and it seems to just up the pain. Up the rejection. But it also ups the chances of us finding someone. Sure, there are days when I feel completely dejected about love. This coming from a hopeless romantic. Shocking, I know. But then someone comes along and you hope they're different. Maybe they're not, but for a while, you enjoy the sweet messages and the dates and what not. A pessimist (like the one inside me) might always keep the idea in the back of their mind that he could be just like the one before him: disappointing, possibly creepy, and just not that into you.

There needs to be a balance between the romantic and pessimist. It's not easy, that's for sure, and it's something I myself struggle with on a constant basis. And of course, that's in a perfect world. But we can try. He might not be into you, but you have to give him a little bit of a chance. If not, you might just end up alone. And who really wants to be alone?